Periodic Table of Dallas and Yums T-Shirt from Dorrough's "Ice Cream Paint Job" Video

Hi, this is Jason.  Rocco is probably too busy changing diapers or trying to get his wife on the treadmill to help with the blog so I'm doing this myself.  I always hated Dorrough's "Ice Cream Paint Job" until I was in Atlanta for work and a hot black girl (that wasn't wearing a bra) danced to this song on the MARTA for at least 20 mintues, while it played on her cell phone speaker.  It was great and made me realize how much I love Atlanta.  I found some this page about the Periodic Table of Dallas but you can't buy it...because it's a wall.  You can buy this Yums t-shirt ($24) though.  Some dude at the end of the video is wearing it.  I hate Rocco.

64 oz Flask and "I'm in Miami Bitch" T-Shirt from Pitbull's "Krazy" Video

This one is a little old, but when Jason brought up what he found in Pitbull's "Krazy" video we figured it was worth a post.  I mean, how many times do you see a 64 oz flask ($22) in a video?  These guys are from LMFAO and the dude on the right is wearing their signature "I'm in Miami Bitch" t-shirt ($25).  You can pretty much put anything in place of "Miami" there and it makes a great t-shirt.  "I'm in Prison Bitch"?  There are some other great items in the LMFAO store but we're probably biggest fans of the trashy looking party chicks who model the clothes.  They make us want to lose some weight so we can handle more than 30 min at one of those DJ parties without sweating to death.

Rocco's Review of Snoop Dogg in the City of Champions

 Mark (he’s the one that plays bass guitar by himself in his underwear) had an extra ticket to the Snoop Dogg show Friday night because he and his girlfriend broke up. I was happy to go but I made it clear I would not be performing any “girlfriend duties”.

Like any lame white dude would, I instantly started to worry about what gangs would be there and if I would get shot. Apparently the authorities had the same idea because there were plenty of police cars and ambulances outside the venue. It didn’t take long once I was inside to remember The Dogg is more pop than hip hop these days. The crowd was 95% lame white people just like me, some even older, all wearing Steelers gear. One of the few black dudes I did see was wearing a Coogi sweater. I felt a little cooler because at least I knew what it was. We grabbed a few beers and I bitched about something so Mark wouldn’t miss his girlfriend too much.

Before Snoop came on the DJs played a lot of the great older rap tunes - Biggie, Ice Cube, Dre, Easy E, etc. It looked like Snoop’s bodyguard was on stage trying to recruit ladies in the front row to head backstage. He was a white guy but he was one of the scariest looking guys I have ever seen, probably too scary because I didn’t see any girls heading backstage. I told Mark they were filming another Lord of the Rings movie next door and one of the Orcs must have gotten lost.

We were a few beers deep before Snoop finally came out and I think I had a pretty good contact high going. He walked out in a Steelers coaches jacket ($100) holding his shiny blinged-out microphone (I’d love to get one of those). At this point the Orc body guard was on the left side of the stage and another white Orc, amazingly even taller and scary than the first, was on the right side of the stage. Snoop is 6’4 and these two monsters made him look small. If you check out this video on YouTube you can get a decent look at them on either side of the stage. I wondered how many beers I would have to get in Mark before I could convince him to jump on stage and hug Snoop. It was hard to tell what shades Snoop was wearing but I’m pretty sure they’re these Locs ($13). Locs are a Doggfather and west coast favorite.

Snoop was obviously losing his voice from the Steelers game the night before and I think the crowd did more rapping than him. He was only on stage for an hour but it was still a good show. He played all the songs you wanted to hear. I couldn’t convince Mark to get up on stage so unfortunately the bodyguards didn’t get to kill anyone.

On the way home Mark and I stopped for more beers and, of course, pizza. I’d love to blame the 4 pieces of pizza I ate on my contact high, but I’m really just a fatass. When I got home I woke my pregnant wife up to show her my “Hip Hop Broke My Heart” t-shirt ($20) and how proud I was for finally not getting pizza stains on something. She mumbled something about her lawyer and went back to sleep.

I wondered down to the baby’s room where all the clothes and toys are laid out for our upcoming “bundle of joy”. I cried myself to sleep on the floor in the fetal position while quietly rapping, “bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay…”.

Just another day in the life of a G.

T-Pain's iPhone App "I Am T-Pain" Released Today

I know we said yesterday we were taking the day off but we would feel bad if our readers didn't get the news that T-Pain's iPhone App "I Am T-Pain" launched in the Apple App Store today ($2.99). Thanks to our friend Mark for alerting us (he's the one that eats pizza while practicing bass guitar by himself, usually in his underwear). Jay-Z wouldn't approve of this app but Mark tells us it's pretty amazing. Maybe he'll make a video for us...from the neck up. If our fans would buy something from one of our advertisers maybe we could afford iPhones too.

The Recession Hits Rap Videos. We Review Fat Joe's 2007 "Make It Rain Remix" Video

Good morning class. Today we're going to talk about Fat Joe's "Make It Rain Remix". Oh don't groan we know the video is old, but it's a great example of the current recession and its affect on the rap industry. Let's face it, lately it just seems like everyone keeps using the same Lambos and Louie. It's like there's a big truck that drives the same junk around from video to video. I bet they don't even open those Nuvo bottles, they just pack up the "dog boners" for the next shoot.

Let's travel back to '07 and examine at least two good indications of the current recession in Mr. Fat Joe's video. The first is the appearance of a Lyons Worldwide jewelry box at the beginning. Lyons' website is currently down and their domain name is expiring. We think it's safe to say they're out of business. But maybe the biggest indication of hard financial times is the Bugatti Veyron seen in this video. At $1.3-3.8 million this car is by far the most expensive whip out there and currently we can't think of any rapper showing one off. They're all pushing the same Lambo Gallardos which barely crack $200k.

You may also notice Fonzworth Bentley was still just carrying the umbrella then. Now he's rapping and writing books although his career has yet to take off, even with all those high-profile friends. R. Kelly was still drinking good ol' Alize, before Nuvo starting paying financially strapepd rappers to drink it (that's gotta be the only way somebody would drink that stuff). We downed a couple bottles of Alize at a house party years ago and, while it tastes much better than Nuvo, it will still give you the same suicidal hangover.

So what have we learned today class? Rapping, and having your products in rap videos, is not recession proof. This is a lot for one post so along with our teacher theme here we're probably going to take the day off tomorrow and start the long weekend early. We'll most likely smoke some pot and talk about the 60s. We hope you'll take some time this holiday weekend to contact your favorite rapper and ask them to "step up their game". This country won't get out of the recession anytime soon unless we have rap videos to encourage our reckless spending.

Strip Club from Twista's "Wetter" Video, Version #2

Twista is from Chi-town and so is the strip club in video #2 for "Wetter". Atlantis is one of those fancy strip clubs, a little too fancy for us. We would probably be much more comfortable at the strip club from "Boss Mac Swag". The last time Jason went to a nice strip club he accidentally flicked his little drink straw (he felt bad ordering a Miller Lite) into a stripper's face. She walked off in disgust and then I had to listen to him complain about how the stripper hurt his self-esteem for the rest of the night.

Playboy Covers Guitar from T-Pain's "Every Girl Remix" Video

"Every Girl" is such a great song, and even though T-Pain's remix isn't that great, we still like it. You can't help but sing this one all day long. Jason thinks it would have made a great song for his wedding this weekend but for some reason the other person involved didn't go for it. We spotted two great guitars at the beginning of the remix video. We're still looking for the middle finger one, but we did find the Playboy covers guitar ($900). That's really not a bad price considering we have a friend who spends twice that much on guitars and nobody thinks they're cool but other music nerds. He's getting married later this month too. We have a feeling his shitty guitar buying days will soon be over.

T-Shirt and T-Pain's Golf Cart from Glasses Malone's "Sun Come Up" Video

I'm not sure how Jason spotted this StreetWise City Limits t-shirt ($28) some guy is wearing in Glasses Malone's "Sun Come Up" video. It's on the screen for literally one second. Of course you can't miss T-Pain's lime green golf cart with 22" spinners, which he flipped out of back in March and lost 4 teeth. We found this video of him introducing the golf cart and talking about his accident on YouTube. And if you want to be like T-Pain, we found you this $38,000 custom golf cart George Clinton has been in. Don't be pissed there's a golf cart that costs more than your car. Just remember, there's a bottle of booze that costs more than your car too.

Bobby Henderson, "Barber 2 Da Stars", cutting Ludacris' Hair in Ace Hood's "Born An OG" Video

Luda comes hard on his verse in Ace Hood's "Born An OG". We're not really sure what that means but all the commenters on World Star Hip-Hop said that and we want to fit in. We also want Bobby Henderson to cut our hair ($100) while we rap like Ludacris. Oh wait, we can't rap. Check out this video of Bobby cutting hair on Soulja Boy's tour bus. Who is that crazy looking Asian dude with the grillz? (insert Soulja Boy joke here)

The Strip Club from Dougie D's "Boss Mac Swag" Video

When you watch Dougie D's "Boss Mac Swag" video you'll see why it's been so hard for us to find something in there for you to buy (we've wanted to talk about it for weeks). We just don't have that kind of focus. So after a few weeks we gave up and decided to look for the strip club where they shot it. We contacted the director, Rakesh Jacob of infoPimps, on Twitter and he was nice enough to tell us it was Scores Caberet in Houston. We love the 5 star review on Google titled "Big Black Booty". We've never had a reason to visit Houston, until now.

We're refreshing infoPimps' YouTube page daily in anticipation of their next video. Maybe they can shoot this one in Jason's living room?

Rao's - The Restaurant in Jay-Z's "D.O.A" (Death of Autotune) Video

For as much time and money as we've spent in restaurants it's pretty amazing this is the first one we're talking about in a rap video. Jay-Z is seen eating, and then playing cards in the kitchen with Harvey Keitel, at the famous Rao's in East Harlem in his "Death of Autotune" video. Apparently the food is just as unbelievable as the wait for a reservation. There's one is Vegas too but the word is "not so good" - better plan a trip to NYC. We're fans of Jay-Z but we're hoping he doesn't completely kill autotune because we really can't sing without it.

Universal Madness in Wale's "Chillin" - Washington, DC Urban Clothing Store

Alright this is the last one from Wale's "Chillin" we swear. We really have to stop watching this video so much. But you have to admit not only is GaGa growing on you, it's a good song. We spotted this Universal Madness storefront, did some research, and found out it's a popular urban clothing store in the Washington, DC area. We don't live near DC so we checked it out on Google Maps. Jason had a bad experience the last time he was in a urban fashion store. He was trying on a several-XL "Everday I'm Hustlin" t-shirt and the shortie working their gave him the stink-eye. Haters.

Strapped Condoms from Birdman’s “Always Strapped” Video

We were waiting to talk about the Strapped condoms in Birdman's "Always Strapped" video until after Rocco was able to do a review. He bought some from their website ($10) a couple weeks ago but he hasn't had a chance to use them yet. He keeps mumbling things "wife is pregnant already" and "she's not into it when I talk like Lil Wayne". Obviously if he ever gets the chance to use one he will not be testing the effectiveness. Maybe someone else can order a box (Gold Large, Platinum XL, or Baggyhead) and let us know how it goes. If you order the Baggyhead ones I'm sure you probably have a great story about why you need that model and we'd love to hear it. Rocco bought the Platinum XLs so he can peg them like it's 1987.

Michael Jackson's Fedora from "Billie Jean" and Piano T-Shirt from "Beat It"

For those of you who are sick of everyone jumping on the Michael Jackon bandwagon today, we're sorry, but it's pretty tough not to find something from a MJ video today. Obviously there is a ton of stuff going up for sale on ebay right now, but one of our favorites is this autographed fedora ($5,000+) similar to the one he wore during his historic Motown Anniversary performance of "Billie Jean". If you spend that much for the hat at least take it out of the stupid glass case and wear it around. To celebrate the legend for less cash try this piano t-shirt on CafePress ($31) similar to the one he wore in the "Beat It" video.

Yea, we know Michael Jackson isn't a rapper, but it's hard to find a rapper that wasn't a fan of his at some point. White guys like us looked up to him when it came to dance moves so we have to pay a little respect. Rocco still loves to try and moonwalk after a couple dozen Miller Lites. And if you've had a couple dozen Miller Lites too it actually looks like he's doing it right.

Update: Also check out this Michael Jackson tribute t-shirt from the BET Awards.

T-Pain's Auto-Tune iPhone App - You Can Sound Like a Robot Too

T-Pain is going to help us all sing like a robot with his auto-tune iPhone app (coming soon). While it hasn't been in a rap video yet I'm sure T-Pain is working out the product placement right now. You can watch Soulja Boy try it out backstage with T-Pain at a recent show. Notice how he forgets it's an iPhone for just a second and almost puts it in his mouth. If they had included this in the latest iPhone release we would have probably camped out in line with all those nerds.

Akon's Car and Phone from "I Wanna Make Love Right Now" Video

Rocco was all excited when we got a request for the car (thanks Matt) at the beginning of Akon's "Right Now". He thinks rappers need to show a little more originality when they pick cars for their videos and quit with the constant Lamborghini Gallardos (Gallardos are to rapper's cars as Nuvo is to rapper's crappy drink...now you're ready to take the SAT again). Akon pulls up in a MG A at the beginning of the video. He also pulls out a Blackberry Bold while he's in the car. This video is very deep and cinematic, and we like that.

Rick Ross' Stuffed Giraffe from "Here I Am" Video

One of our "fans" emailed us yesterday to make fun of us for not talking about any Rick Ross videos last week. His well written email reminded us we better get "back on Rick Ross' nuts before someone else does". Look we can't help it Rick Ross' videos are fine works of art that you appreciate in new ways every time you watch them. Take, for example, the stuffed giraffe at the beginning of the "Here I Am". If you're not "on Rick Ross' nuts" and watching this video over and over you may never notice this. You may also never take the time to find out you can actually go to Africa and shoot a giraffe for your house. It's probably going to run you around $10,000-ish but that's a small price to pay to be the only person on your block with a mounted giraffe in your house.

Found: T-Pain's Vocoder from Basically Every Rap Video

Ever wonder how T-Pain does that "robot thing" with his voice? Ever wonder why he's in every freaking rap video right now? We can't help you with the second question but we finally have an answer to the first. Check out this rare video clip of T-Pain working with his Vocoder.

The "Cristal" of Cigars: Zino Platinum

Rappers call them the "Cristal of cigars", although I doubt you'll hear Jay-Z saying that anymore. His "Excuse Me Miss" video dates back to '07 but it opens up with Jay-Z puffing on a Zino Platinum cigar. There's also a nice shot of the box which always makes our job of spotting this stuff easier. Check out Zino's Facebook page for all the other celebrities that love Zinos. The cigars are expensive for something you're going to light on fire ($30-40 each), but not unattainable for showing off in front of your golfing buddies, or some hoes in da club.

We've never tried them so we should probably do a review. Rocco's wife loves when he samples cigars in the living room....especially 15 minutes before her mother shows up for dinner.

Upcoming Review of "Drank", the Anti-Energy Drink

(Rocco) I wish I had some great post today to finish out the week...but I don't. I've been watching videos myself this week because Jason is busy with corporate nonsense meetings in Atlanta. I just can't find anything that great to talk about today...I'm sorry. Yea, that's right, we still have "real jobs" because none of you click on the damn Google ads.

He's supposed to be looking for Drank down there (seen last fall in Keri Hilson's "Turnin Me On" video) so we can do a review on it but I have a feeling when he's not in some bullshit traning session he's sweating all over a rack and a half of ribs at Fat Matt's Rib Shack. I'm guessing he's had to have his suit dry cleaned at least three times this week.

At least take this time to vote for us in the Blogger's Choice Awards. Someone nominated us and it looks really pathetic that we only have two votes so far. Almost as pathetic as Jason staring at "shorties" in Atlanta wearing a BBQ sauce-covered suit.